Marriage is so fun! I think the world looks at it through this super serious lens, and while it is something to be taken seriously, it’s also just a good gift God has given us here on earth. It should be enjoyed in every capacity. So far, I’m loving it.
Today I am gonna share some of what the first month and a half of marriage has taught me. This list is by no means exhaustive, and it will not apply to everyone. However, these truths are what have brought joy to my little family so far.
1. Rest in this moment. Not the past or the future.
The process of engagement is largely about the future. I was constantly planning for a day and a life I did not yet know. Then I got married and the day went by fast. Crazy fast. It can be so easy to spend hours on hours talking about the wedding as a means of reliving the day we spent so long looking forward to.
On the flip side, the future is so tangible now! I am spending time with the one who will parent my children and walk with me through the best and worst times of my life.
Either way, it becomes so tempting to flood my mind with everything except the present. I have found, though, that the most joyful moments with my husband happen when we are just being still in this moment. Talking about our days, our joys, our stressors, and our love for one another. Those are the moments I cherish.
2. The crockpot is my best friend.
No seriously. I am so new to this whole being a wife and student, and the crockpot makes it way easier. It also helps me put on the facade that I can cook. If you’re in my shoes–or just a busy person–crockpot meals will save your life. Check out some of the meals I have found most awesome on my Pinterest page.
3. Be his wife. Not his mom.
This really weird thing happened the minute I got married. I am definitely not saying it happens for everyone, but I’ve got to share just in case! My maternal instincts are kicking in like crazy. I think it is because I am one step closer to that part of my life. Either way, it is really easy to hash out those feelings onto Austin. But that’s not my role! He has been raised well by a woman who was given that role. My job is not to nurture him–it is to love him, to encourage him, and to be his wife.
4. After the honeymoon, take a spending break.
Again, one of the most insane things about the beginning of marriage is no longer being engaged. The last few weeks of engagement are filled with spending on the last minute details: gifts for friends, random decorations, a honeymoon wardrobe, the list goes on and on and on.
After we returned from our honeymoon, we found such joy in living simply. So much of our lives before the wedding was filled purchasing to perfect the wedding. It is so freeing to just be and let The Lord–and one another–perfect the present.
These next two definitely apply to everyone!
5. Fill your home with pictures.
From every stage of your lives together! Dating, engagement–remind yourselves of the times you were looking forward to the day you’re living now. It makes us so grateful of this moment.
6. Stop putting the world’s expectations on marriage!
When I first announced our wedding date, I would regularly get a look that seemed to say, “You’re getting married before you graduate? That’s not how it’s suppose to happen.” I even got the actual words once or twice. For so long, I walked on egg shells, wondering, “is it really going to be that hard? What if they’re right?”
But what The Lord laid on my heart to do is just that. What He has laid on my heart to do. And He will do the same for every other couple seeking Him.
Our individualistic culture would have us think that we are suppose to have our lives completely in order before we can even think about committing to another. Yet that has been the sweetest part of this whole process! I am not dependent on myself any longer. Austin is not dependent on himself. God has given us one another to carry each other through this phase of our lives.
…And my parents to teach us how to adult.
When we are able to let go of what the world tells us our marriage–or even our life–should look like, we find freedom in what He has for us. That has been the best part of my marriage: not comparing it but living it. It is nothing like anything anyone else is doing right now. It is simply ours. I can’t wait to see where God takes it next.